OBJECTIVE: NEJI!
by Kirai-chan
Summary: Okay, Tsunade's wierd niece shows up and starts causing caos. I didn't know what to put for the genre this could be a whole nother category! Like: insane? R
1. MY EYES!

Okay, this came to me while I was swinging, and it really has no point, so it might never even have an ending. In fact, it's even in it's own genre. Please review!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I own Kasumi. And the plot. Haha, now you can't sue me!

MY EYES:

Sakura walked along the streets of Konoha, towards the academy. She was bored, because she hadn't had any missions lately. So what else to do but go to the park and be bored some more?

Tsunade had been busy and Sakura was unable to train with her. Or anyone else, for that matter. When she got to the park, it seemed deserted. Yes, it was deserted. All of the children were at the academy, and everyone else was training.

Squeak

Squeak

Squeak

Squeak

"Hm?" Sakura headed towards the swings. A girl with light brown hair pulled into two low pigtails (like Tsunade's) was swinging on one of the swings. Sakura had never seen the girl before. "Hey!" Sakura called. The girl turned around, and Sakura was surprised. The girl looked a lot like Tsunade, but she had light brown hair and dark brown eyes. She even wore an outfit a lot like Tsunade's, but it was a lot less revealing, colored brown and tan, and the girl had bandages covering her forearms, shins/ankles, and neck.

"Who're you?" the girl asked.

"I'm Sakura. I've never seen you around before. What's your name?"

"Kasumi."

Jeeze, this girl, Kasumi, even acted like Tsunade! Sakura came and sat on the swing next to Kasumi. "So, how old are you?"

"Almost thirteen."

"I'm fourteen."

Kasumi turned to Sakura and smiled, saying, "I like you."

"Why are you here in Konoha?"

"I'm looking for my eternal rival."

"Who's that?"

"Tsunade-baba-san."

"Hm? She's my sensei! I've been training under her for the past two years," Sakura said. "Say, where's the rest of your team? And where are you from, anyhow?"

"I don't have a team, and I'm not from anywhere. My sole purpose is to defeat Tsunade."

Sakura looked at her strangely. "That's not easy."

"For you, maybe not. Who's on your team?"

Suddenly, Temari comes walking through the park. Kasumi's face lights up. "Oi! Temari!"

Temari turned toward Kasumi, smiling and waving. "Hey! What're you doing in Konoha? Looking for Tsunade-sama again?"

"Yup! I've been training really hard. I even met with this guy named Jiraiya, and he and this boy called Uzumaki Naruto taught me some stuff. They're cheering me on!"

Sakura looked at Kasumi and said, "Naruto's on my team. So is Uchiha Sasuke, but…"

"Ah! You're on the team with that boy! Jeeze, he's so troublesome. He really pisses me off."

"Who? Naruto?"

"No way! Naruto is…wonderful! It's that Uchiha boy. We've met a couple of times and he just really…bugs me.

"Naruto, on the other hand…now he's something else," Kasumi continued dreamily. "He's strong, brave, and he likes ramen!"

"Feh. Sounds like someone's desperately in love," Temari snorted.

"TCH! No, no! Not like you and _Shika-kun_! Mhmm! 'Shika-kun's head looks like a pineapple. Shika-kun beat me again at Go, something even _you_ can't do, Kasumi! I just love watching the clouds with Shika-kun! Boohoo…Shikamaru wants a lady-like girl, and I was practically raised as a boy; maybe he wants me to change!" Kasumi taunted Temari, who's face was getting redder every second.

Sakura's eyes were wide, and she asked Temari in disbelief, "You like Shikamaru? Nara Shikamaru?"

"No, no, no!" interrupted Kasumi. "Temari _loves_ Shika!"

By now Temari was absolutly petrified and was about to attack when Kasumi said, "Oops..."

"Oops what?" Temari asked.

"Oops…" said Sakura.

Temari stared at them. "What?"

"I think that Pineapple-head is about to faint…" Kasumi said, pointing behind Temari.

Temari's hair stood an end as she slowly turned around. Sure enough, there was Shikamaru looking just about as surprised as anyone could be.

Shikamaru tipped forward and caught Temari's lips with his.

"AHHH! MY EYES! MY INNOCENCE IS RUINED!" cried Kasumi, grabbing at her eyes. Sakura blushed and turned away. "GO GET A ROOM!" Kasumi demanded, grabbing Sakura and running out of the park.

Soon enough, they ran into someone, though, because Kasumi was still covering her eyes. "Look where you're going!" Kasumi yelled, pointing her finger at none other than Tsunade herself. "I challenge you to a fight, Tsunade-baba-san!"


	2. WILL OUR HEROES SURVIVE!

Actually, I base this fic on my own life…and my own reactions to life…

WILL OUR HEROES SURVIVE! AND WILL I EVER STOP WRITING THE CHAPTER TITLES IN CAPITALS:

"Huh? What're you doing here, Kasumi? You're birthday's in four days. Come back then."

"I have to have time to decide who I'm going to invite, like Sakura-chan here. Plus I have to prove myself and defeat you. I want to do the same thing we used to do every year this year with my new friends!"

"New friends?"

"I don't actually have any yet. You're going to introduce me to…um…him, and her, and him, and her, and him, and him, and…it's Naruto-kun!" Kasumi pointed out random people off the streets (Neji, Tenten, Kiba, Hinata, Lee, Shino, and Naruto) "Oi! Naruto-kun! Over here!"

"Hey! Have you made Tsunade beg for mercy at you feet before viciously making her serve you as you slave for an entire week?" Naruto asked Kasumi, walking over. "Sakura…I'm taller than you!"

"Nice to see you too," Sakura said, eyes narrowed and arms crossed as Naruto did a victory dance.

"Hm…that reminds me!" cried Kasumi. "Tsunade; prepare to fight!" she screamed, attracting a major crowd.

"Did you have to draw so much attention?" Tsunade whispered in her ear.

"YES! I want everyone see their Hokage beg for mercy at the feet of her twelve-year-old niece!"

"YOU have a NIECE?" Sakura asked, pointing at Tsunade.

"Yes, what of …"

"DO NOT TAKE YOUR EYES OFF YOUR ENEMY!" Kasumi yelled, throwing a punch at Tsunade. Instead of blocking, Tsunade turned and threw her own punch. The fists collided in mid-air and nothing happened. Tsunade looked up, surprised that Kasumi was not driven back. Kasumi smiled wryly and began to form a ball of chakra in her hands.

Suddenly…Tsunade was moved back…an entire CENTIMETER!

"That's not all!" yelled Kasumi, lunging at Tsunade with the Rasengan. "This is what Jiraiya-sama and Naruto-kun have taught me!" Tsunade began to run away from her niece.

They ran in circles for about five minutes until Jiraiya stepped in, holding Kasumi back.

"I think that's enough," he said, laughing so hard tears formed in his eyes. "Tsunade has been humiliated enough. You may continue your harsh relation and rivalry later." He then fell over laughing.

"But…but I've still got SO MUCH energy!" cried Kasumi in despair. "Hey! Tsunade-baba-san! Introduce me!" she then demanded, pointing to everyone that looked about her age (they were all standing together).

Tsunade slowly walked over, an annoyed expression on her face. "Everyone, this is my niece, Kasumi. She's having a birthday party and you're all invited," she announced wearily. (mainly the group consisted of Hinata's team, Neji's team, and Ino's team.)

"HUH?" everyone in the group looked at the strange overly-hyper girl that reminded them strangely of Naruto in surprise.

"Kasumi, this is Hinata, Kiba, Shino, Neji, Tenten, Lee, Ino, and Chouji," Tsunade said, pointing to each of the group in turn.

"Okay. And Shika-kun, Sakura, Naruto, and Temari are also invited," she informed them all. "My party's in four days at my house. That's…never mind, Tsunade will give you instructions. I really hope you come!" she called, prancing off to go train (more (and more (and more (and more (and more)))))…

Everyone continued to stare in the direction she had run off to. Then looked toward Tsunade.

_Crickets chirping…awkward…_

Then, Naruto broke the silence. "Is that really how you were at her age?"

"No. She takes after her father."

_Silence again…_

"Who's going to her birthday party?" Tsunade asked. No one raised their hands. "Well, in that case I'm making you go, or else she'll bug the hell outa me. I've got enough paperwork as it is, and that girl could double…no, triple…the load. It's officially all of your mission."

No answer.

"I'll mail you the directions," Tsunade told them, walking away.

No answer. Then, "That was strange…" Neji concluded.

"It all happened so fast…what _did_ happen?" Tenten asked.

"Apparently we're going to some kid's birthday party," Kiba concluded. "Do you think Akamaru can come, too?"

"Yup! I've been waiting for Kasumi-chan's birthday party for a long time!" exclaimed Naruto. "It's for a week at her house a few miles from Konoha. It's really huge!"

"And just why are we doing this?" asked Ino.

"The power of youth prevails!" exclaimed Lee.

"I-It might a-actually be f-fun!" Hinata pointed out, smiling.

(&)

The next day the lists of things to do for Kasumi's birthday came in the mail:

_First day: have pool party with pudding instead of cake._

_Second day: play games (Truth or Dare, Twister (beware of soap))._

_Third day: watch 'The Ring' (the first R movie she's seen)._

_Fourth day: she'll clean the house. Do whatever you want, but _don't_ help her. She'll kill you; literally._

_Fifth day: she'll disappear. Don't worry, I won't hold you responsible. It's Kasumi you should watch out for._

_Sixth day: she'll mutter under her breath and sulk all day long. Do whatever you want._

_Seventh day: this always depends. Be careful._

_Rules: Kasumi makes these up. I feel sorry for you._

_Place: Just meet Kasumi at the gate at 9:00 a.m. on Monday morning (three days from now)._

_Beware of: water guns, floating rafts, sleeping drought, poison, dust bunnies, cleaning spray, wells, zombies, video tapes, dares, kitchen soap (especially cinnamon flavored), pranks, anything…and this is only from my (horrible) experiences. But then again she _was_ trying to kill me._

_-Tsunade_

(Neji's house)

"We have to spend…"

(Ino's house)

"An entire week…"

(Naruto's house)

"Yahoo! I'm going to a party, I'm going to a party!"

Well, that's beside the point…

(Kiba's house)

"WITH THAT MINIATURE NARUTO BRAT!"

(Tenten's house)

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

(&)

Next time in: OBJECTIVE: NEJI:

"Oh, fouled beliefs of an underbred performer; why doth this manor do unto me what I for sure merit not. Oh, kindred spirits of my former haunt; how dost thou lie and await my anxious company? How…"

"We get the point, Shakespeare."


	3. OH, FOULED BELIEFS!

OH, FOULED BELIEFS OF AN UNDERBRED PERFORMER…:

"Good morning! Is everyone ready to go? I packed extra ramen, Naruto-kun!" Kasumi called, waving at the group from the gate. She immediately noticed their expressions (all except Naruto, who didn't actually read the letter) and scowled. "Just _what_ did Tsunade-baba-san tell you _now_?"

Instead of answering, Shikamaru handed her a list and started walking.

Kasumi could be heard muttering, "Well, she's got that right…what's so horrible about…OMG! YOU GUYS DIDN'T ACTUALLY BELIEVE HER!"

Everyone (except Naruto) looked at her with looks that said, 'Yeah, actually, we did'.

"Oh," Kasumi said, bowing her head. Naruto was still standing to the side with question marks above his head.

The group continued to walk for about fifteen minutes before Sakura asked, "Hey, Kasumi, you all right?" The girl nodded briefly and continued to walk. All of a sudden, Neji stopped, causing Kasumi to walk into him because she wasn't looking where she was going, causing them both to fall, causing Naruto to trip, causing…nothing, really.

"Hey, is everyone all right?" Naruto asked, sitting on top of Kasumi and Neji.

"Gerrof us, dobe!" yelled Neji.

"Ow! Naruto! You're poking me! Haha! It tickles!" (Kasumi)

They sat there in the road. And sat. And sat. And…

"Are you three coming?" asked Kiba curtly.

"Let's just stay here for a while. Look at the clouds. Get to actually _know_ each other…" Kasumi suggested, laying down on the grass and looking up at the sky. Fluffy white clouds floated slowly across.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Fine, we get it. Don't judge a book by its cover, or by what other people say about it," Shino suggested out of the blue.

"Huh?" Sakura looked at Shino. "Oh. I guess Shino's right. We shouldn't judge you by what our lists say.

Naruto looked around at everybody nodding. "Huh? What lists?"

"Say no more! For we have listened, oh just, oh wise! Never again shall we dwell upon horrid writings of sprite and hell-dweller; instead, let us move onward, and commence another time," said Kasumi, jumping up energetically. "Granted?" Everyone nodded as Kasumi pulled out a book; A Midsummer Night's Dream. Everyone sweat-drops and continues on their way.

(&)

Kasumi's house…no, mansion…was huge. It was white. It had wooden carvings. It was beautiful. It had flowers. It had…everything you could ever want!

"Oh, fouled beliefs of an underbred performer; why doth this manor do unto me what I for sure merit not. Oh, kindred spirits of my former haunt; how dost thou lie and await my anxious company? How…"

"We get the point, Shakespeare," muttered Kiba.

"Okay. This is my house. The boys are in one bedroom, the girls in another (mine). Follow me."

After climbing the grand staircase, everyone followed Kasumi through a couple of long hallways with lots of doors. Finally, they came to the room at the very end of the hallway (the southeast corner (the house faces north)).

"This is my room, Kasumi said, pushing open the door. The room was a light rose-petal pink. The bed was large with white silk sheets and a pink comforter. Many different pillows of all sizes and shapes adorned the bed, along with a white canopy above it. Large windows to either side of the bed took up the entire wall and were covered with white curtains. One of these was a door that led to a balcony.

On the wall opposite the wall with the bed (the bed was to the left of the group) was a white wardrobe with golden handles. To the right of the wardrobe was a vanity, same colors as the wardrobe, with a mirror and perfumes and a pink hair brush. To the left of the dresser was a desk (same color as the wardrobe) with a light pink desk lamp.

At the very end of the room was an opening where you could see into the bathroom. The bathroom was large with white marble. The bathtub was sunk into the ground and about five feet by seven feet. Fluffy white towels were provided on glass shelves, along with about any bath supplies you could ever need.

"Wow."

"Okay, this is where the girls will sleep. If you check in the closet across the hall, there are some futons that you can set up in a circle. Set one up for me, too please. Boys, follow me," Kasumi announced.

The girls stood there staring at the room a little while longer before Tenten said, "Well then…let's get to work!"

(&)

Kasumi led the boys to the room right next to her own. She opened the doors and…it was exactly like her own, except with black walls with a single red stripe painted around the room. The sheets on the bed were black silk, and the comforter was black and red. The curtains were red. Mainly everything was black and red. And more modern. "This was my brother's room," explained Kasumi.

"Hm? Where is he now?" asked Kiba, looking around the room. "He won't mind, will he?"

Kasumi laughed bitterly. "No, no, he won't mind. He's long dead," she explained, walking out of the room. "Futons are in the same closet the girls are getting them from!"

"Dead?" Shino muttered.

"Mhmm. Jiraiya sensei told me that…"

Everyone looked at him, and he began sweating profusely.

"…that I'm not supposed to say anything!" Naruto claimed, running off to get his futon. "Wow! This is a big closet! Come check it out, guys!"

(&)

Next time on OBJECTIVE: NEJI: SUPER FLOATY SNEAK ATTACK, COMMENCE!

Tenten informed Kasumi, "Your plan isn't going to work. You can't just sneak up on them and…"

"Oh, yes I can! SUPER FLOATY SNEAK ATTACK, COMMENCE!" Kasumi yelled, diving under the water.


	4. SUPTER FLOATY SNEAK ATTACK, COMMENCE!

SUPER FLOATY SNEAK ATTACK, COMMENCE:

"Hey, hey! C'mon, everybody! It's time for dinner! I ordered pizza. Plus I made pudding! It's chocolate! Hurry up!" Kasumi screamed to everyone as she jumped up and down. "And tomorrow morning we get to have RAMEN for breakfast, right, Naruto-kun!" she shrieked, giving Naruto a high-five.

"I swear those two could be siblings…" Tenten whispered to Sakura. Hinata stared at her feet.

DING DONG!

"OMG! OMG! OMG!"

Neji walked calmly to the door to get the pizza.

"H-Hey, Chouji, what exactly did you give Kasumi to eat as a snack?" asked Ino suspiciously.

"Um…an energy bar. Cookie-dough covered in chocolate with extra vitamins and minerals.

"OMG! OMG! OMG!"

"SHUT UP!" screamed Kiba, covering his ears. Akamaru barked.

"I put the pizza on the table," Neji said, coming back to the scene.

"AH! THE POWER OF YOUTH PREVAILS!"

"Hey! Kasumi! Calm down a bit!" yelled Tenten above all of the noise.

"Oh. Right." Within a few seconds, Kasumi had regained control of herself. "Let's eat!"

(&)

After dinner, everyone changed into their swimsuits. But I'm only going to describe the girls' swimsuits.

Hinata's was a one-piece black bathing suit. The straps went around her neck. It had a white stripe on either side.

Tenten's was red and pink with flowers.

Sakura's was pink with sakura blossoms on it.

Ino's was purple with swirly bluish designs on it.

Kasumi's was different shades of pink. It was also brown. It had flowers.

Temari's was green and blue tie-dye.

(I'm really bad at describing stuff, so deal with it.)

Everyone took off, laughing and playing around, towards the lake. When they got there, the Sakura, Hinata, and Ino were slow getting into the water while Tenten and Kasumi jumped right in, along with all of the boys (except Shino, who's not going swimming). There was a shed with lots of inter tubes, rafts, and other stuff in it and everyone was having fun playing around.

Mostly the girls hung out with the girls and the boys hung out with the boys and Naruto was in between.

"Wow! It's pretty warm!" exclaimed Hinata, slowly walking into the lake.

Sakura and Ino were now fighting in the water because Ino splashed Sakura. The boys were just talking about missions they had been on recently. All of a sudden, various objects came flying out of the shed, missing some people by inches.

Kasumi emerged carrying a beach ball and a raft. She had a smile on her face. "Everybody have fun! That's why we're here!" She then jumped into the lake, splashing Shino. Everyone laughed at him, soaked with water. Shino carefully walked over to the lake and whispered something in Kasumi's ear (she looked panicked). She nodded vigorously and dived under the water. She reappeared over near the girls (and Naruto, who swam over) and began to whisper her plan.

(&)

Tenten informed Kasumi, "Your plan isn't going to work. You can't just sneak up on them and…"

"Oh, yes I can! SUPER FLOATY SNEAK ATTACK, COMMENCE!" Kasumi yelled, diving under the water. Her lime green raft, moving across the water towards the boys. All of a sudden, it disappeared.

"Huh?" Sakura, Ino, Tenten, and Hinata looked around.

Naruto and Temari laughed. "That's her special jutsu; she can turn invisible! Isn't it cool! I didn't know that she had completed her training so that she can turn other objects invisible, though!"

"B-But…Neji-nii-san has t-the Byakuugan," Hinata said.

"The boys don't even know what's coming!" Sakura laughed. While Kasumi had been telling them what Shino suggested, and her plan, the boys had begun to laugh and joke around again, completely ignoring the girls.

"And no, even the Byakuugan couldn't see through Kasumi's jutsu," Temari said confidently.

Suddenly, a long stream of water hit Neji in the head. Neji looked around, clueless.

"What's the matter?" asked Kiba.

"BYAKUUGAN!"

"How troublesome…" Shikamaru muttered. And then, out of the blue, a stream of water hit him smack dab in the forehead. Just like Neji.

Of course by now the girls and Naruto were attempting to hold back giggles, until bubbles suddenly appeared around Kiba. They were thrown into fits of laughter as Lee backed away from him.

"Huh? I didn't…" The girls laughed even more at his puzzlement.

"Hey, wait a minute…where's Kasumi!" Neji shouted. The girls quieted down as a lime green raft appeared in the water in between the boys and girls and started moving towards them. Kasumi popped out from under it and everyone once again began laughing, giving each other high fives.

The only person who hadn't been struck was Chouji. He was sitting on the bank, eating barbeque flavored potato chips. The boys swam over to the group of girls, still giggling madly.

"Y-You…s-should have s-seen…your…f-f-face!" Hinata choked out between fits of laughter, pointing at her cousin. The boys were still completely clueless.

Kasumi felt sorry for them and explained, "My special jutsu is that I can turn myself and other objects invisible. Not even the Byakuugan can see through my jutsu!"

Finally the girls had calmed down. As soon as this happened, the boys began to pelt them with little splash balls (Neji's idea). The girls squealed, while the boys laughed wickedly. No one except Hinata noticed that Kasumi had once again disappeared.

"H-Hey, where's…"

All of a sudden, a dark green liquid was tipped over Neji's head. Neji looked stunned for a minute, and then vanished under the water.

"Ahhh! Neji!" Lee cried, groping under the water for his body.

Back at the girls' side, Kasumi resurfaced with Neji.

"W-What did you do to him?" stuttered Hinata, shocked. Everyone stared at Kasumi.

"Don't worry, it's just sleeping drought. He'll be asleep for approximately five more minutes. Let's hurry up and tie him to a tree!"

Sakura and Ino got their evil looks, and their Inner Beings laughed maniacally. Temari grinned along with Naruto and Tenten, and Hinata just looked around, unsure of what to do.

The girls dragged his body up onto the shore, and began their work.

(&)

Instead of going back to the lake, the girls went straight back up to the mansion and got ready for bed. After a snack, they were all in bed fast asleep. The boys came back about fifteen minutes after that, confused by everyone's disappearance. When they looked in on the girls, they sweat dropped. Kasumi had left them a note, telling them where to find Neji.

(&)

_In the middle of the woods…_

Neji woke up. Sunset. It became dark. He started yelling for Kasumi to get her ass back there and untie him (they used ropes made with chakra).

At midnight the boys finally came to his rescue (they had to eat before coming out to get him. Really great friends, huh?). If this was bad, it was going to be nothing compared to the next day. Truth or dare.

(&)

Next time on OBJECTIVE: NEJI:

"Hinata, who is your current crush? If he's in this room, you have to kiss him."

Hinata paled and glanced around the room. Her cheeks got pinker…and pinker…and redder…and redder…and…

"OMG!"


End file.
